Nothing ever becomes real . . . .

. . . 'til it is experienced. (Keats) This summer the Giants reality TV show officially airs and will follow the players personal and baseball lives. I saw the preview. It was good. We saw Freddy Sanchez celebrate his anniversary with his wife, Wilson arriving to spring training in a police cruiser, Torres doing insane jump squats up the side of a hill and tossing cinder blocks everywhere, and Panda racing up a mountain to get back in shape. Showtime is relying on the cast of characters to be characters. This isn't like other reality TV shows where "reality" is scripted and Showtime cannot make the Giants win again or force the players to create fake arguments or fist fights. Showtime can't send the Giants players to Cabo on spring break and force feed them Long Island Iced Teas until they forget their own names.

With the emergence of social and digital media, professional athletes are more accessible than ever. Fans can read their tweets to their friends and stalk them by going to the restaurant where they are eating or ask them a question such as is Buster Posey's wife having twins? (she is) It's free marketing for the teams and players. I love it, I've been tweeting Baby Bull and asking him questions. (trying to put together a piecemeal interview like a pseudo-journalist, more to come with that) There is no way in my lifetime that I would ever be able to have a direct conversation with one of the greatest Giants of all time.

When you grow up watching sports on television you develop a relationship with your favorite teams and players. These athletes are performing in you living room every night and if you are lucky you can get a little closer by attending the live event itself. The fans' knowledge of their favorite players used to be limited to TV, live experience, and newspaper interviews. Digital media adds another dimension. Sandoval tweeted one night that he was going to eat at PF Chang's and my first thought was bad idea. Not too many good options for his new diet. Then I thought this is crazy, I'm analyzing a professional baseball player's restaurant decision. I almost went to the website to look up some healthy options to tweet him. The concept of "it's none of your business" does not exist on Twitter, your business is every one's business. It's addicting. Case in point, Panda training video. (I forgive him for his poor form on the rowing machine)

Fish Fry Gone Awry

Last summer, former Giants shortstop Juan Uribe decided to enjoy a nice evening in which included a fried fish dinner. Apparently Uribe is no Long John Silver or Gorton or Mike from Season 2 of Top Chef (creator of the Cheeto Snickers amuse buche).  Neither has he attended any culinary institute or even watched 10 minutes of the Food Network. According to the landlord, Uribe started a grease fire that destroyed the kitchen causing $145,000 in damage. He decided to take the Officer Barbrady approach - there is nothing to see here. Not sure what we has thinking, it's not like a red wine stain on a pillow that you flip over to hide the blemish. Mr. Clean would flip you off if you asked him to clean that.

Just to pour a little salt in his wound, let's do a little math. What can $145K buy?

	Price	Quantity
Gallon of Milk	3.49	41,547.28
iPhone 16GB	199.99	725.04
MLBTV Premium Subscription	119.99	1,208.43
Piece of Bazooka Bubble Gum	0.10	1,450,000.00
# of Games you can pay Barry Zito	114,197.53	1.27
Kung Fu Panda Hat off eBay	9.99	14,514.51
Pack of Twizzlers	2.79	51,971.33
Little League baseball	2.00	72,500.00
2011 BMW 3 Series (Basic)	33,600.00	4.32
Pint of Ben & Jerry's	5.69	25,483.30
65" Samsung LED-LCD TV	5,399.98	26.85
Slice of Pizza (2 blocks from my apt)	0.99	146,464.65
Standing Room Ticket at AT&T Park	22.00	6,590.91

Uribe's landlord - "When you hear the boos from the fans, I'll be one of the loudest" . . . . Priceless

Delta House

The San Francisco Giants have been called and adopted the idea of being a team of misfits. Never conforming to traditional baseball standards for a baseball team, they united under a common front of crazy. Whether you're rooting for or playing for, it's always fun to be the underdog and Giants embraced it. When you grow up you are always told that you should always be yourself no matter what anyone says. Embrace your inner nutcase. As I watched Animal House this past weekend, I couldn't help but think how similar their story was to the Giants. The Delta Tau Chi members were a group of misfits amongst their fraternity peers but had confidence in themselves and their own abilities as a cohesive unit to succeed. Not to be cliche but there is no "I" in Team but there is an ATM (just ask the Giants), an AMT (just ask the Giants' tax advisors), and mate (just ask Otter).

Since there are a host of crazy characters and personalities, I've taken on the burden of creating a Giants fraternity similar to Delta House. "See if you can guess what I am now . . . . "

B Weezy - President/Certified Ninja/Mental Assassin/Beard Master
The Machine - Honorary Action Figure
Dubz and Cy - House Pets
Lou Seal - Fraternity Mascot
Huff Daddy - Head of CoEd Relations
Pandoval - Head Chef
Pat the Bat - Head of Hazing
The Freak - Head Botanist
MadBum - Head Southpaw
Ross the Boss - Head Party Planner
Buster - Head Bouncer
Big Daddy Cain - Head of World Series Procurement
Chuck Norris and Donald Sutherland - Spiritual Advisors

Honorary Members:
The Say Hey Kid, Baby Bull, Dominican Dandy, Stretch, Jack the Ripper, Woody, Will the Thrill

I think it's only appropriate to end this post with the Delta House induction ceremony . . . .

Ducksnorts

Two Giants fans enter, one fan leaves. Chavez Ravine is now officially Thunderdome after a Giants fan was beaten and sent to the hospital in critical condition after the game last night. Apparently wearing orange to a Dodgers game is a death sentence and K&K sent out a warning tonight to Giants fans to layoff the fan gear. This is not an April Fools joke. Immediately after the event the Dodgers PR team decides to issue a statement promoting Dodgers games as being safe and family friendly. Yes, it is family friendly if your last name is Soprano.

Brandon Belt belted a three run home run to center field off Billinglsey tonight echoing the endless Will Clark references. Excited about Belt, adds much needed depth and power in the lineup. He's a quiet hero just like Posey. Giants know how to grow organically.

Dodgers can only hit ducksnorts off the Giants pitchers. So frustrating that it is activating my baseball tourettes.

Since it's April Fools we should end this post with a little B Weezy fun. There are five things you need to know about Brian Wilson . . . . . .